- Little people’ is less offensive than ‘dwarf’ or ‘midget.’
- Women are genetically disposed to not be funny.
- Save paper towels, save the forests. (Shake hands before using the paper, fold the paper towel and dry.)
- Sex needs a new metaphor, other than baseball where you use terms like scoring, getting to first base, if there’s grass on the field play ball etc. Example: The new model is based on Pizza, it’s not competitive like baseball. You’re also sharing the experience of pleasure and enjoyment.
- Scientists should stop talking jargon to us and make ideas accessible.
- Parking and coffee to be included in college tuition fee.
- How to handle well-meaning people you don’t like.Why you deserve to be the boss instead of your boss.
- Prints of body parts other than fingers should be taken. Like ear prints. (Talk of the burglar caught by his ear-print on the window glass – he was listening to find out if the coast was clear)
- Blondes ARE stupid.
- Men should never wear skinny jeans.
- Grades don’t matter.
- The work week should be shorter.
- Horror movies are good for experiencing the adrenaline rush.
- Funny pick up lines work.
- Blaming the horoscope when things go wrong helps.
- All is not fair in burping and farting, but it is in love and war.
- With a woman as a president, there would be more wars.
- It is not wrong to steal bread to feed your family.
- Women have to leave the seat up for men’s convenience.
- Schools should ban Harry Potter for promoting witchcraft.
- How playing games raised your IQ.
- A thumb is a finger.
- Reverse discrimination.
- Men are happier than women.
- If a woman hits a man, he should be able to hit back without it being called abuse.
- Too much rhetoric and speech caused the fall of the Roman Empire, it will kill us too.
- Keep your mom off Facebook.
- Banks have to ban hats and sunglasses to avoid robberies.
- Make your friends pay every time, all the time.
- Guys gossip more than girls.
- Adult children living at home can be a pain.
- A majority of vegetarians don’t love animals.
- How to eat food you don’t like.
- Why being fair doesn’t work all the time.
- Larger passengers should be obliged to purchase two plane tickets (the weight?).
- Being a weekday vegetarian in a carnivorous culture.
- Limit alternatives to make your choices easier.
- Reincarnation is a fact.
- Why moist cookies are better than dry. Bring cookies and demonstrate.
- Boys should be allowed to cross dress and wear skirts.
- Children of divorced parents should gain the right to divorce their parents if they choose to.
- There must be a breakup insurance policy to all
- Eat lionfish to stop their invasion.
- Donate your locks.
- How to persuade someone to take the blame for your mistake.
- How to get a spouse to hand over the remote.
- Why the drinking age should be lowered.
- How to create a cult following easily with so many dumb people around.
- Why airplanes should be made from the material the black box is made of.
These
topics conjure images of fun and humor and are bound to make the
audience smile. They will help build up an anticipation of wanting to
know what the speaker has to say about it. Hope you have a great time
delivering the speech.
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