Let’s go back all the way to high school. In September when the new school year began, I had an intention of meeting some new people and potentially getting a relationship by the end of the 10 months of school. I was young and inexperienced. I decided to open my eyes wide and pursue some girls I had interest in. It’s ironic because a girl actually APPROACHED ME 1 month into school. She clearly showed interest, we exchanged numbers, went on a couple of dates, and finally sat down after a couple months later in November to decide on “what we were”. She ended up becoming my first true girlfriend. The past relationships were all the typical immature ones and didn’t necessarily count as a girlfriend. I thought she was perfect, I thought she was the one. I was so happy but things quickly turned upside down for me.
We became official in November and the amount of attention we got from our whole entire grade was unforgettable. I became much more popular and my confidence grew. But it felt good, I will be honest. We dated for a few months until out of the blue she broke up with me. In person. And the excuse? She wasn’t ready for a relationship and that it wasn’t me, it was her. Like I mentioned, I was inexperienced. I believed her like a total idiot and begged and pleaded like a fool. She wanted friends, I didn’t accept. It hurt. Great, I **** up somehow and I lost my girlfriend. We became exes. I turned to the internet for help. No Contact appeared and so I applied it. For 3 weeks the emotion level was high from both of us and she told her friends she felt bad. Maybe things would go my way? More the opposite...
After 3 weeks of NC, she got a boyfriend. He was a year younger than me and I was actually quite good buddies with him. When we started dating he congratulated me and was all smiles. But I know now, it was a cover up. Deep down, he was jealous. Why? Because he had feelings for her as well. I didn’t know and eventually I knew that the reason why she dumped me was because she started liking my friend who had an evil idea of flirting with her between my back. Just imagine that. Your girlfriend dumps you for your friend and gives you the excuse that she isn’t ready for a relationship. Friend? No. He’s not a friend. He took her from me and it felt like I was stabbed in the heart. Getting dumped is one thing. But getting dumped for someone you thought was a good friend is another.
Even worse, they dated for over 6 months. And they still are. For the first 2 months I didn’t know what to do anymore. I hated them both and I got in a fight with my ex for spreading rumors around. Looking back that fight was pointless. It only was emotions running from both of us. I was at the stage where most people in the forums are now. “How do I get her back?”, “What went wrong”... It took me 2 months to get over her. 2 months of NC and immature hatred between me and my ex.
In February, I started talking to some of her friends. I had no intention of dating any of them but those girls were the reason for my ability to move on from my ex. I set my mind on other girls and with the help of my own friends, I was able to, for a short period of time, forget about my ex. That short period of time helped me become a better guy and most importantly it helped me clear my mind from the break up. Eventually it came naturally that I had barely any feelings for my ex anymore. This began a fresh start with her and I decided to cut NC. Small talk turned into laughs and fun times. Her boyfriend and I have no friendship until this day but I still say a polite hello when I see him. I still hate him but it’s the right mature way to do. The more immature I look, the more repulsive I become as a human being.
I never sat down with my ex to discuss friendship with her. It all came naturally. Those feelings were gone. No Contact helped me lots and with the help of friends and sports, it became almost a walk in the park. I used no contact not to get my ex back, but to get over her. And it worked. Slowly we became close again and for 4 months, we were considered good friends. June came and it marked the end of one of the biggest wave of a year I had. Ups and downs, she was the reason. She moved schools so it was our last day together on the last day of school. We hugged for 2 minutes I remember. It was a symbolic moment for us. 2 minutes of affection erased the 2 months of bitterness we had for each other. That hugged marked the ending of a journey we finished together. Even if she dumped me for someone else, even if she gave me an excuse she contradicted and were complete lies, I didn’t care. That was the past. She was a great girl and I knew I didn’t regret one thing. The ups and downs made our goodbye a little more emotional. I still keep in touch with her and we therefore, lived happily ever after.
I want you to take this story and know, only the mature and best “couples” can face a break up and end in a friendship. You may want this ex back as a romantic partner but I believe an ex will always stay an ex. It isn’t healthy to get her back. It was never meant to be. If you are religious, God broke you two up because He saw someone better for each of you. He gave you something better for the two of you: Friendship. Friendship can be a beautiful thing. The best ones are the ones who stick together and forgive even after the worst of times. So for those who are facing the pain of breakups, be patient. Things will come naturally. Use NC to heal yourself, potentially move on completely from her, and if it was meant to be, she’ll come back. But sometimes like me, you have to face the reality that the two of you will never get back together. Be strong, love yourself and keep your head up.
0 comments:
Post a Comment